An identity crisis happens when a person suddenly feels lost and their place and function in the world no longer has meaning, ceases to exist, or has changed dramatically. Identity crises can happen at any time in a person’s life for many reasons. The most common are through periods of transition, loss, and trauma.

Things like adolescence, “empty nest syndrome”, marriage and divorce, moving from one place to another, loss of a job (or gaining a new one), pregnancy and raising of children, menopause, and of course ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences), CPTSD, and narcissistic abuse can all contribute to a loss of identity and confusion about where to go afterwards.

Therapists can help a patient identify and emotionally process what the patient is going through, but there are certain things outside of the jurisdiction of a therapist’s job that call for independent exploration. A coach can help you achieve that next part. Discovering who you are and transitioning from the person you were to the one who is more fulfilled requires courage, developing self-esteem, discipline, taking educated risks with unfamiliar experiences, and challenging ideas about yourself with fieldwork and real world research.

On a personal note, I spent four years in a therapeutic deconstruction and examination of the false narratives my narcissists and other harmful people told me who I was. In order to break free from that narrative, I worked extremely hard to challenge that and I congratulate any human being reading this if they are in the process of doing it right now as well. Healing what is broken is hard work and takes time, but it is worth it.

But one of the most destabilizing and scary moments of my healing was when I knew I was done with that period of time and ready to move on. “What NOW?” was my first response. The overwhelm of what to do with the rest of my life was palpable. It was a truly dizzying array of choices and the slow process of building a new life commenced.

Initially, I lived life in the slow lane. I took everything into consideration with the focus and precision of a medical technician. I slowly started to relish not reflexively screaming “How high?” when someone who previously intimidated and kowtowed me said “Jump!” And I slowly started to come into awareness of myself, my likes and dislikes, my abilities, to take pressure off myself, make friends with myself, and find a real life for myself. And I enjoyed every second of it.

Over time, I slowly came to realize that not everyone has the luxury of time or space to do this. That for some, an advisor was needed, a safe person who has been there before who can offer structure and accountability in that very vulnerable process of self-discovery. I found people in my spiritual advisor work dissatisfied in their life because of fundamental (many times childhood) issues plaguing them with guilt. shame, and a nagging feeling of obligation to those who had no loyalty or obligation to them and I suddenly realized about 85% of my clients had some form of this running through their narrative and that the solution was in pivoting from “mere” intuitive sessions to something additional, something deeper than “you should do this on xyz date and time”. And it worked. My coaching services have slowly taken over from one-off 90 minute sessions (although those still exist and are still quite enjoyable) and the results have been phenomenal, producing increasingly long-term, meaningful and satisfying results for my clientele.

If you are in the same boat I was ten years ago, and feel you need reciprocation and guidance as you achieve newfound individuation, you are (probably) perfect for coaching right now. I am happy to speak with you further in a twenty minute interview to see if we are compatible and we can take it from there. Just go to the “Contact” page on this site and request the interview and I will be happy to set something up with you.